Has anyone else noticed how quiet it is everywhere? It’s very odd. You set off in your car, allowing the usual amount of time that it takes to get where you’re going, and arrive ten minutes later and a good eight hours before you’re supposed to be there. This, of course, is because the schools have broken up for summer. But this year the situation has been exacerbated by Tropical Drizzle Doris to such an extent that it is generally reckoned there only twenty people left in the country. Eleven of whom are the England cricket team.
For those of us who are left, things are looking up. The weather has improved, to the extent that there have been unconfirmed sightings of something our ancestors used to know as ‘the sun’, and even some reports of land being sighted in the middle of the Gloucestershire Sea. And we’ve all got a bit more money in our pockets because we haven’t shelled out on ‘cheap’ flights and airport-induced psychotherapy courses.
So, what better way to celebrate our new-found space, sun-tans and wealth than by eating lobster? It is an expensive food, but it’s also incredibly delicious and coming into season just about now.
The easiest way to enjoy lobster is to buy it pre-cooked. Look for bright-coloured shells and tails that are curled right under the body – which show that the lobster was alive when it was cooked. If you’re feeling murderous and want to buy an uncooked lobster, make sure it’s alive (the friskier the better) and has its claws bound (to avoid nasty nips) and then either put it in the freezer to render it unconscious before cooking it, or put it in a pan of cold water and heat it very, very gently. It’ll be dead long before the water boils. Then simmer for 15 minutes for the first 450g and 10 minutes for every further 450g, up to a maximum of about 40 minutes. After that you’ll need to go to work with an assortment of weaponry to reveal the bounty inside. Check BBCGoodFood for techniques.
There shouldn’t be much to disturb you from a quiet summer lobster lunch – your nearest neighbours are probably about 100 miles away. That’s 10 minutes in the car, these days.
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